The Siva Crew

My Little Smarty Pants

 So... she was born at 34 weeks, she had meninogoccal meningitis at 5 months, so bad her CSF WBC count was 4800, it only has to be 100 to be meningitis.  Pure pus flowed from that spinal tap.  

They told me she would be delayed, they told me she would be retarded, for lack of better PCness.  They told me to accept her as she would develop and come.  They told me she would be deaf.  

I WANT MY FUCKING DEAF DELAYED PREEMIE.

Cause the smart ass fucking 14 month old that runs around this house, who controls her pee and poo, speaks in 4 word sentences, throws tantrums and can tell when it is going to work, plays tug of war with the dog, stacks (not bangs, stacks) blocks, and has had the idea of object permanence and remembering the permanence down for a LONG time, she is one tough cookie to out smart.

All jokes aside. Olivia is doing well.  Her motor development is right on, uncorrected for her gestational age, and her cognitive development remains about two months ahead, as it has since she was about 9 months old, uncorrected for gestational age (this has been assessed by professionals, I am not just bragging).  

We have an appointment with the pedi GI next week, to take a look into Oli's throwing up.  About twice, maybe three times a week, she will just all of a sudden puke her guts out, cry a little, take a bottle and go about her way. She will also at times, with certain foods, take a few bites and then just refuse to eat further, but take a bottle.  I don't know if it is behavioral or if the food is hurting her in some way.  So off to the GI we go. I have moved her to a stage II formula because of this.  If she were eating cow's milk this way, she would be anemic and malnourished in no time.

I did take her to the allergist and we had some skin prick testing done.  At 5 min she had reactions to casein, peas, carrots, and potatoes (all things I was suspicious off) but by 20 min the reactions were gone. The allergist who claimed to do both pediatrics and adults, didn't impress me and she said she had never seen this, it was nothing to worry about and probably just sensitive skin.  Um... that was a histamine reaction that died down lady.  I need a better answer that you copping out on saying I don't know, let me figure it out.  

I know the GI she is seeing personally, so I am going to tell her about the SPT and ask her what she thinks and if she thinks we should do further testing, or another round of SPTing.  

That is it for now.  I just have to go get some sleep, so I am awake enough to outsmart my special little snowflake tomorrow morning.

Our Little Halloween Fairy

One of my friends, who was pregnant at the same time I was, had her child, on October 27th, so decided to have a Halloween costume birthday party.  We were two hours late, between a nap, barfing all over ourselves, a big poop at the last minute and all the pictures we had to take.

Our hostess didn't mind a bit.  She was just glad we showed up, which I am sure was doubtful at that point.

Our hostess, who is the proud mother of boys, grabbed Olivia right up and didn't give her back for a good 20 min.  She is dying to have a girl at this point, but another baby doesn't work into the plan, right now

I took the opportunity to take lots of pics of all the people at the party.  No one seemed to be taking pictures by the time I got there, so it seemed a good idea.  I already mailed them off to her on a CD.  Look at that turnaround time... astounding for a mother of a ten month old... but I don't hear any applause.

I guess once you start to hit the toddler stage, no one really forgives you for forgetting everything anymore.  

Always Looking Her Way

Oli doesn't look any one way for very long at all.  But there is always one place I am looking and that is at those chubby little cheeks, those rose bud lips, that little mullet of curls.

It is amazing how one little person can grab every single moment of attention you have.  How they consume your thoughts and everything you talk about.  

When I was pregnant with HG, I never thought about how I would love Oli. I just thought about getting the pregnancy over with, which is a common thought for all women with HG.

But now that she is here, and is all I am left with from HG is PTSD, I have almost no thoughts that don't surround her, and when she is in the room, I want to know where she is at all times.  Not because I am constantly worried, but because I love to know where she is.  Because I love to look at her.  Because I love her chubby cheeks, meaty little thighs, and almond shaped eyes.  I love to hear her throaty growl when she is really concentrating.  I love to watch her ATV herself over any obstacle as she develops her motor skills, or pull her binkie in and out of her mouth and marvel at it, as if it were some precious jewel to behold.  

I know someday, she will tell me, "Mom, STOP STARING AT ME."  But until that day, or even after that day, my eyes are on her.