When I thought about having a child. I certainly didn't think about hyperemesis. I thought about changing my meds to breastfeed. I was certain my child wouldn't use a binkie and on and on. But we all know when you get out into the real world and become a mother, things change.
I couldn't breastfeed because I had to add even more meds, plus the fact that my body had lost 20% of its mass, mostly muscle, my fat soluble vitamin stores were gone, and I had just survived gram negative rod sepsis and DIC. I was on TPN for most of my pregnancy and yet she was still born SGA. And I delivered at 34 weeks while still on TPN. Then she was put on TPN. So if I couldn't keep weight on her while she had my body to live off of, how could I breastfeed her?
Breastfeeding moms often depend on their breast as a binkie and then when they wean, it is kind of a dual process.
Oli also had an 11 day stay in the NICU and I couldn't be in the NICU as much as I liked. Due to just recovering from all that and because sitting and walking and moving around with the SPD I developed, were hard. I used a walker for over two weeks after she was born.
Well when she needed soothing they gave her a soothie. The very famous NICU binkie. Now here we are and she cant sleep or be crabby and sleepy and be calmed without one.
In this pic is my nightmare. She is bright eyed and bushy tailed, has probably found one under the couch, put it in her mouth, and is walking around with it, while we get ready to go out to do some shopping with Grandma K. I took it out of her mouth and she doesn't protest. She only protests if she is tired.
So at least we don't have that HUGE of a problem. But how am I am going to wean her from it for sleep? She can absolutely not sleep without it.
There is another huge secret we keep here. We cannot get her to sleep in her crib without swaddling her. She will get all caught up in her ability to stand and jump in her crib, or the ability to pull her binkie in and out of her mouth and stay awake. So sometimes she wakes up without the binkie in her mouth and we have to go replace it for her to fall asleep.
I don't know the right age to get rid of it. I definitely don't want a three year old with a binkie, but is that where I am headed? I know there are going to be some sleepless nights ahead. Both because we cant swaddle her forever and because we cant binkie it forever.
The only reason we can really still swaddle her is she still fits in a wrap because she is a peanut. She usually gets out of mid night, but it is just enough to keep her from getting distracted until she gets into a deep sleep.
I am not looking forward to figuring this out. I am definitely looking for suggestions.
Comments