Lonely

This will be a post that starts a fight between Babe and I should he read it.  Because anytime I post something about how our life is less than perfect, or he is a less than perfect husband, trouble starts.

I am sorry Babe , you are not perfect.  I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you making babies, taking trips, growing old, but right now the 80 hrs a week you are working is making me feel like  a single woman.

On Friday or Saturday i was bound to ovulate soon, so we "baby danced" since Sunday, I have felt incredibly ill.  I am nauseous, I have an unstoppable migraine, and am always on the verge of tears.  Every ounce of my nurse being knows there is no way in hell, I could be pregnant and feeling this shitty within days.  But if not the easy answer, then what gives?

Of course since I have been well a mere 4 weeks since my last love affair with my couch, Babe has little patience for how shitty I feel.  I don't even think he believes I am sick. Yesterday he talked me into going into work, even after I had called in sick, because obviously I was just faking it. 

Immediately upon arriving at work, everybody started to ask what was wrong with me, as I looked horrible.  I went home a short two hours later and slept and slept. I woke up and still felt like shit.  I feel like shit right now.  I am just exhausted, but cant sleep, and feel nauseous. 

What is wrong with me and why is feeling so mysteriously sick so isolating?

Update

Where do I start?

Looks like baby crazy may be back in action, this time Babe's idea, and we are both on the same page.  For Babe's superstition, I cannot say more

Boogie is cute as ever.  I totally want another dog. Babe says we need a bigger house, and if we need another dog, maybe it is time to go baby crazy.

I am back at work and I love it.  I forgot why I love it until my first day back.  The kids, the parents, my coworkers, the action, the thinking, the skills... and on and on.

I think the weight gain may have been halted by the thyroid meds.  Yippee!

Depression is at bay.  I have been feeling pretty good, haven't cried in probably a week or so. 

Mystery illness:  This is a whole subject all together.  I still have lots of pain, but it is better controlled with NSAID's.  I have much more energy since taking the thyroid med. I just don't feel right. 

I already sent in my absentee ballot and I voted for Hillary, because well, she is a woman, and any Clinton cant be bad.

Till next time...

I'm Fat


I'm Fat
Originally uploaded by greensunflower.

August 2005: 150lbs

December 2005: 160 lbs

June 2006: 165lbs

August 2006: 175lbs

December 2006: 185lbs

April 2007: 197lbs

My thryoid is okay, I do take meds that cause weight gain, I dont exercise, I spend a lot of time depressed, I love to cook.

Can you tell me which one exactly is my problem?

Breakin' It Down

  • Boogie- My sweet little shih tzu
  • Babe- The Hub
  • Runt- Little Sis
  • Big J.- Stepdad
  • UnStepmom- Stepmom
  • Dad- Um...Yeah
  • Mom- I think you get it

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