GreenSunflower

I'm Back

After a much needed break, and a few emails stating how much I was missed, I am back.

During my time away, I wasn't really depressed, just making changes in life.

I am transferring to the emergency department where I work, and am really excited for a new change.

I am 8 days post ovulation and our baby dancing timing looks good, so it is possible I could be pregnant this month.

Babe and I are going to Hawaii in a short 24 days.

I am sure there will be more to say, but I just wanted to say I am here again.

Lonely

This will be a post that starts a fight between Babe and I should he read it.  Because anytime I post something about how our life is less than perfect, or he is a less than perfect husband, trouble starts.

I am sorry Babe , you are not perfect.  I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you making babies, taking trips, growing old, but right now the 80 hrs a week you are working is making me feel like  a single woman.

On Friday or Saturday i was bound to ovulate soon, so we "baby danced" since Sunday, I have felt incredibly ill.  I am nauseous, I have an unstoppable migraine, and am always on the verge of tears.  Every ounce of my nurse being knows there is no way in hell, I could be pregnant and feeling this shitty within days.  But if not the easy answer, then what gives?

Of course since I have been well a mere 4 weeks since my last love affair with my couch, Babe has little patience for how shitty I feel.  I don't even think he believes I am sick. Yesterday he talked me into going into work, even after I had called in sick, because obviously I was just faking it. 

Immediately upon arriving at work, everybody started to ask what was wrong with me, as I looked horrible.  I went home a short two hours later and slept and slept. I woke up and still felt like shit.  I feel like shit right now.  I am just exhausted, but cant sleep, and feel nauseous. 

What is wrong with me and why is feeling so mysteriously sick so isolating?

Navaroo

Navaroo is the belief in Tamil Sri Lanka culture that if someone envy's you, they will cause bad things to happen to you , and because of that you should keep all your successes or happiness to yourself.

Babe is has denied Navaroo for a long time.  Then I got my Volvo.  He was happy when it got its first dent because then people who had been envying our car, would no longer do so, and nothing bad would happen with the car.

Then we were happy for a long time, Babe thought people envied our happiness.  We went through a period of not so much happiness.  Since people weren't envying how we weren't that happy, we got happy again, only to have the cycle repeat.

Everybody loves Boogie.  People ask if they can pay for pictures of her even.  Boogie had gastroenteritis. Babe blamed it on the envy.

I was six with some sort of viral illness for 6 weeks.  Babe things that the people at work envied my life too much and so I got sick.

Some people know just how much Babe brings down each year.  Now his business is suffering, it must be because people envied us.

I see it as life happening.  I don't think people envy me that much, and if they do, they shouldn't, my life is no more wonderful or special than anyone else's life.

But the more life goes on, the more he clings  to the navaroo idea.  I don't  know how to change that.

Crazy Overprotective Mother

No, not my mother.

But something I am right now, is a Dog Mommy.  On Monday, Boogie threw up five times in a couple of hours.  Then yesterday she was fine.  This morning, at 6am, she wanted to get on the bed, very unusual for her, when on the bed she couldn't get comfortable and kept kicking out her legs.  Then I got out of bed and went to the kitchen.  Boogie ALWAYS follows me to the kitchen.  She sees it as an opportunity for her clumsy mother to drop something and for her to take advantage.  But Boogs didn't follow me to the kitchen.  She just stayed on the bed.

Then later when I put her on the ground, she puked.  I canceled an appointment I had this morning and immediately took her to the vet.  I got to the vet and told him how at I am a PICU nurse and admittedly neurotic.  And how at work sometimes we get kids who were healthy two days prior, flu like 1 day prior, and then dead the next day and sometimes we really don't know what killed them.  So I was convinced there was a remote possibility this could happen to Boogie.  Either that or she had a bowel obstruction from eating something we didn't give her, and she shouldn't  eat.

The vet assured me she basically has the stomach flu/gastroenteritis, gave her some kind of antimicrobial, we don't use in human medicine, and gave her her daily allowance in subcutaneous fluid. I got her a special toy, and we came home, where she promptly looked like she felt better, so much so she jumped on the bed by herself, something she almost never does.

All in all with dog insurance, it cost us $65.  Babe thought this ridiculous, I certainly thought it a deal. And it wasn't really that I took her for the stomach flu, but rather how I was when I was there.  How fast I talked, how the doctor kept looking at me with this "OMG this lady is nuts"  look.  He treated me so nicely, but I am sure he was glad to see me go. 

Oh my.

Update

Where do I start?

Looks like baby crazy may be back in action, this time Babe's idea, and we are both on the same page.  For Babe's superstition, I cannot say more

Boogie is cute as ever.  I totally want another dog. Babe says we need a bigger house, and if we need another dog, maybe it is time to go baby crazy.

I am back at work and I love it.  I forgot why I love it until my first day back.  The kids, the parents, my coworkers, the action, the thinking, the skills... and on and on.

I think the weight gain may have been halted by the thyroid meds.  Yippee!

Depression is at bay.  I have been feeling pretty good, haven't cried in probably a week or so. 

Mystery illness:  This is a whole subject all together.  I still have lots of pain, but it is better controlled with NSAID's.  I have much more energy since taking the thyroid med. I just don't feel right. 

I already sent in my absentee ballot and I voted for Hillary, because well, she is a woman, and any Clinton cant be bad.

Till next time...

Boogie-isms

I may have the quirkiest dog that ever existed.  It doesn't help that her mommy (that would be me, I am no owner) is neurotic as hell.

Boogie does not try to grab food from your plate.  Now, don't get me wrong, she begs.  But if given a choice she will smell and lick your mouth, in which you just put food, rather than steal from your plate.

Please don't ask me to explain.

Boogie's Favorite Spot

Boogie
Originally uploaded by greensunflower.

I Am The Crazy Dog Lady

Boogie gets her very own couch
Originally uploaded by greensunflower.
If you know me basically at all, you know I love my little dog Boogie.  She is the light of my life and I love being her "mommy."  I never knew a pet could make you so happy.  I just look at this picture and it makes my heart smile. 

Boogie is well known for her love of comfort.  She finds the carpet not quite comfortable enough, so she must always be either on the bed, in her dog bed, or on the couch... or on Babe or I.  Well seeing how much she loves the couch, we got her, her very own mini couch which matches ours.  As you can see she loves it.  This pic was taken within minutes of setting it on the ground. 

We bought it because she recently got spayed and needed a special gift... a gift for our incredibly spoiled ten pound dog.  As you can see she is wearing her lampshade to prevent her from licking her incision.  She hates it, but it makes her look so cute. 

I cant believe I love a dog this much.  I am nuts.  Oh and did I mention I carry pics of her in my wallet and show people who ask what she looks like?  I am THAT nuts.

I Love This Dog

Boogie
Originally uploaded by greensunflower.

I knew it would be awesome to have a dog.  I knew I would love her and it would make me feel happy to have her, but I could not have anticipated how much I would love this dog.

She is sitting at my feet right now and sleeping.  Just looking at her makes me happy.  I see her and my heart fills with love and I just want to hug her so tight. 

Yes, she drinks her own pee, so the hair on her face often smells of urine, but it is surprising how you can get over the smell of urine when you love something. 

This is the best thing Babe has ever done for.  Getting me this dog.  She is a happy but low key little puppy which complements our family so well.

She somehow completes us in a way.  She makes us better.  We love her so much.

I Am Bored, Let's See What Happens

I am sitting here watching Rachael Ray, checking emails, and sitting on my ASS.  There is a lot of time not on my ass lately, so I feel the need to give my ass some attention, aside from the time I am drying where it hits the back of my legs, from sagging at the ripe old age of 26.  I really do not want to see my ass in another 26 years, because it isn't pretty now.

That reminds me.  The other day, I walk through our bedroom naked and in front of Babe.  About fifteen minutes later, he comes up to me and says, "Babe did you notice that those dimples that are on your butt are all the way down your leg now?"  Um, No... I didn't realize my cellulite was spreading a long with my ass and the amount to the right the scale goes lately. 

Now before you think my husband an asshole, please remember he is not from American culture and in his culture speaking your mind about someone's looks or weight is a-ok.  I schooled him on this aspect.  He hasn't mentioned it since.

I have a true pussy dog.  Now, I know I got a shih tzu and as my mom points out, they were bred as lapdogs.  But yesterday, I tried to take her on a walk.  With my parent's dogs, you put them on a leash, they run in front of you and you are trying to get them to slow down.  It was that way since they were puppies.

Now with Boogie.  She stood still and when I tried to give the leash a little tug, she pulled back vehemently, letting me know, she does not walk.  When I picked her up to carry her on our "walk,"  she was perfectly happy.

I looked up how to train a dog for a leash on the net and it says to put the leash on her for a couple of minutes a day and just let it sit on the ground, so she gets used to it.   Lordy, this is the most high maintenance dog I have ever met.